124/365 Parenting Examples

I live on a block with folks who pretty much fall into the same end of the spectrum when it comes to parenting. We each have our strengths and weaknesses but we have similar expectations, techniques, rules, and so forth. I never worry about correcting a neighbor kid for hitting his sister or having my girls sent home for being brats. I know Valerie, for instance, isn't going to put up with too much bickering, and Zelda is going to push kids outside. Sure, there's a spectrum--I have reached my level of incompetence with 3 kids and can't wait until they're all old enough to reason with (meaning Billy needs to turn 5). On the other hand, I think I do a good job instilling religion and fighting for my kids at their school (it helps that religion and education are two of my strengths). Gretchen can focus like a laser on health problems and keep that focus until things are resolved, while me? Oh yeah, Daisy has eczema and I really should grease her up. Just for instance. But I never let a teacher walk over my kid or tell me bullshit. Never. And I've seen other moms kind of look defeated by teachers.

The other night I was coming in and talking with Dawn next door. It became very clear all of a sudden that Dawn and Judd can hear EVERYTHING that goes on in my house. She hears my alarm go off in the morning. She certainly can hear me yelling at Maeve to get her you know what downstairs before she's late for school. And that made me stop a second and reflect. Old habits are hard to break--last summer I parented by yelling because I didn't have the energy to use anything effective. It was exhausting. But when I get rushed or flustered I fall back into that.

And Dawn can hear every word.

Yup.

The past few mornings I've worked hard to not be that way. To have my inside voice match my "chat on the sidewalk" voice.